She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
