Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
