How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Mom said you looked used
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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