I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
