okay pat passed out under dana's car
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
