You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
