I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
