i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
