hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize