She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
