You work out of a Hotel?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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