There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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