Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
