writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
