Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize