I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
