I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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