I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
