Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
