I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
