My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
she looked like the before picture.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
