How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
