he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
