Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
