I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
