she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
