NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Blood and glitter go together right?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
