I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
