I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You ruined the universe
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
