I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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