Duck Duck Cougar?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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