Don't make out with my wife yet
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
