You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
