Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
