Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
