I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
