Dual....:-)
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
