have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
