I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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