I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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