I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
BRING THE BAGELS
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize