I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
