well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
