bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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