it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
