We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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