my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
