You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
