Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
