Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
