We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
