moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
