If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
