i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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