My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
