I want to stick my p in your. b.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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