dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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